So today I resigned from my 9-5 desk job (or, as it has been recently, 7:30 – 6).
This is a huge step, this a definite leap into the unknown. But it’s been something that I know I’ve been heading towards for the best part of two years.
When I started this blog I was already getting questions from people on Facebook, about how I had lost the weight and what I recommended. That gave me the initial idea for No More Mrs Fatty McFat; a hope that by documenting my weight loss and the pitfalls, highs, the education I gained etc that there would be information enough for someone to find and say ‘That’s what I needed to hear, that’s the same as what I tried’ etc. I realised through answering some of the emails and comments that I got through, that there was a plethora of people (not just women) that wanted someone who understood what they were going through to help give them some solid advice. Most had said that when they have joined a gym, some lithe young adult not long from Sports Science degree at Uni was assigned as their inductor at the gym. The person that they were trying to get to understand their issues had never been fat, had never suffered the utter deflation that these people had, and to them it was exceptionally off putting. Many never went back to the gym after that initial induction and are debating still if they should return.
I realised that I had a vantage point that the Instructors these people had been to didn’t have. I have been obese, I have battled with the voices in my head that tell me I’d never be good enough, I have had those 3am binges where you eat until you are sick, I have had the angry screams at myself for allowing myself to become so hideous that I was afraid to leave the house. I have been there, and I remember all too well what it is like to be that scared, unhappy person. So in August 2011, I decided I wanted to change my career. I had changed jobs the year previous with a promotion of sorts in work. The job was very well paid but exceptionally stressful, often lonely and at certain points of the year had long hours (the height of festival season no less, so that scuppered the band a little) and I was utterly miserable. I had spent so long on sorting my health out that now my inner peace and joy was being sucked out of me by the one thing that I felt I had no control over.
Wrong! And I know fine well that that was wrong. Had I not taken back control of my health? Was I now just putting those fears onto something different? Yes, yes I was. That August, after a rather turse few words with a colleague that left me in a bit of an emotional state, I sat with OH and confessed how unhappy I was with my work life. That I had no joy in the bulk of my day as I sat behind a desk, lifelessly inputting, sorting and arranging data; that ultimately I felt as though I was being suffocated from the inside and needed to refocus my life. We sat and made a pros and cons list about giving up my job and the pros serverely outweighed the cons. We talked at length about whether we could afford to drop to one income for a while, while I worked on building a client base etc, and I often have wondered if that was a selfish thing to ask of OH and a lot of responsibility to place on his shoulders. But as he always tells me, we are a team, and when one of us needs to pick up the slack to ensure the other is back to a happy medium, then so be it. (He’s pretty awesome). The decision was made. I was going to re-train and become a Personal Trainer.
After much working out of finances, I realised that although I would have liked to have finished in the job sooner, March 2013 was going to be the goal. So the plan went into action. For the best part of 18 months, I have retrained so that I can offer an all round package for a variety of disciplines. I am a qualified Gym Instructor, I am a qualified Pole Instructor, I can take small group training and am in the process of completing the final modules for the Certificate in Personal Training as well as the Exercise to Music qualification so I can teach the myriad of cardio and strength based larger group classes that are out there. I have done it, I have taken a dream that came from something I had once thought would never be, could never be me. I want other people to feel what this feels like, that you can take back the control on your health and ultimately your life. It’s a pretty amazing feeling.
I was very touched the other day to get the following message from a friend, someone I met through a hobby:
Today I had a University interview, and they asked me to talk about someone who inspired me, and what I feel I could learn from them. I told them about you, how you’ve changed your life in such a great way, and are now living the life you dreamed of. I told them how inspired I’ve been by your determination, your kick-ass enthusiasm and how you don’t let yourself be the cause of your own failure (by not making excuses to work out etc.) You really show the rest of us how it’s done, that if you want something and are prepared to work hard enough anything is possible. Thanks so much for that
How awesome is that?
I’m so touched that she thought of me for that answer, and I’m fiercely proud that she’s following her dream, and re-qualifying in what she honestly wishes to do. Go Girl! It’s hard to say, ‘right that’s it, I’m throwing off the security blanket and giving this a shot’. But if you have things in place and support from wonderful people, (my friend has her partner’s full support also, which is fantastic), and you can clearly make a run for it, then do so. Life is far too short to spend thinking ‘what if…’. Take it by the horns, life is meant to be lived. And if you read this and think ‘there is no way I could do that’, then’s that’s fine, too. Sometimes the timing isn’t right, sometimes we have to go a little further along the path to really see the exit. But never say, never!
I’m not so naive as to think that I will walk out of this job and straight into a 10 clients, 4 bootcamps, 10 pole students a week lifestyle. Oh no, I’m not that green! I know it’s going to be tough. I know that I’m going to be working most of the day to drum up business and teaching very little to start, but eventually it will even out. I know running my own business will be a challenge (I have been self-employed before) but I’m looking forward to it. Most of all, I’m looking forward to not having to think of something to make me smile when I get up in the morning, as there will be plenty to smile about.
So here’s to the next chapter, it all starts on April 8th 2013!
Be kind to yourself, as always