It’s often forgotten that we should reward ourselves along the way in this journey.
We often only keep the end goal in site, the final end figure on those scales. Yet the important part of this journey is in the smaller victories.
The battle of changing how we see ourselves is all in the little things that we can whack in our arsenal of feel good bits and bobs. As fat people, and let’s face it when we start this journey we are all fat, we have a skewed version of ourselves in our noggin’. We look in the mirror and convince ourselves that what we see is passable for the most part because if we don’t throw that glamour on the reality, then the cracks will become gaping chasms and the unhappiness that we really inhabit will seep through. It’s all very doom and gloom yet we consistently chuck this façade of everything’s fine and we’re happy being bigger. I’m sure there are people out there who are very comfortable being in their skin and being bigger, but for the majority of us it’s painful and we sometimes cannot see a way out. This is where the small victories are so very important and to certain extent they can be seen as more important than the end goal for many reasons.
As always I’ll use myself as an example, as really I only have me to compare all this to.
Here I am singing with the band, August 2009. At this point I had lost about 3 stone , I was about 14stone 10 lbs (206lbs) and, though I put out the air that I looked good, I was still disappointed that I was nowhere near my goal weight and that I was still fat. What I didn’t do was compare my photographs here with any pictures of me taken at the start of 2006 when I first decided enough was enough. By comparing those pictures perhaps I would have started to see me as I actually was much earlier on, smaller, losing weight, getting there and not as still 17stone 12lbs wondering why, when, if, how all the weight was going to come off. That’s the annoying and very upsetting part of all this losing weight malarkey. You know fine well that you are losing weight and that it is visible but still when you look in that mirror all you see is the original ‘you’ that you started off with. And no matter how much you talk to yourself in a positive voice there is still a little voice that sits in the background saying ‘you’re still fat’.
So the other day I decided that, after getting into a pair of rather tight Next trousers that had now become the perfect fit, that I should look back through some old photographs and compare it to the one here.
The one on the right was taken in August at the last photoshoot we did for new publicity stuffs. I loathe having pictures taken, especially ones where I have to pose, I find that I don’t hold myself well at all and I just find fault all the time. But this new set of pictures I noticed some changes. I was holding myself better, my posture had improved, my confidence was apparent and I was more willing to pose. These might seem like trivial little things but for a former fatty these are huge.
Now I’ve started to really see the massive difference in my body shape and weight. Yes I still have days where I looking in the mirror and thing ‘ugh, really?’ but thankfully they are getting fewer and further apart. Now I look in the mirror and see the 12 stone 6lbs, more toned and lithe version of me, and she’s looking not half bad!
The picture here on the left was taken at the last gig at the start of this month. Considering last Feb that vest top was so constricting I couldn’t breath, now it fits perfectly. Again it’s these little things I realise I need to put into a little arsenal to bring out when the hormone rage strikes with vengeance.
The little non scale victories (as they tend to be called) are things that we can use to gee ourselves up. So that feeling of asking for that little black dress in a medium, after trying on the large and squealing with delight as it was too big; the feeling of putting on size 14 jeans for the first time in 12 years; putting on a small band t-shirt as opposed to a large; having to buy a new wardrobe of clothes as everything is now too big; and of course the general feeling of great health and not being out of puff doing even the smallest things, these are all the things that we should remember. Of course having pictures that we can compare and contrast is possibly the most readily accessible and easily comparable. It’s by focussing on these little victories that when that voice creeps in and starts to try to undermine everything, we can really hit back with pride at what we’ve achieved so far.
And what’s most important about these NSVs is that they change our perception of how we see ourselves. And that’s so vital to success in losing weight and keeping it off. It’s not a complacency in how we are doing, it’s a reminder of why we are doing the journey. It’s a bolster to our self esteem and gives us a warm happy feeling…bonus!
It’s taken my a while to get this in my head but it’s working. I feel a whole lot better about how I view myself. And yes I do have my bad days when I feel rubbish, want to pig out on chocolate and crisps but for the most part, they are few and far between and now I’m more positive about the whole process. Pandora is a lot quieter of late…. thankfully.
Be kind to yourself,