You know it is hard work, this getting fit and healthy malarkey, after spending 14 years being a party girl, smoking like a chimney and eating my own body weight in food most days.
It was easy to get depressed and down about body image and it was easier to sit on the floor sobbing uncontrollably when the scale told you what you weighed. I can still feel that punch in the gut that was seeing that scale at 17stone 12 lbs (250lbs). I don’t think that feeling will ever really go away and to be honest, I don’t want it to. That was such an important moment for me personally that remembering it reminds me that I now love working out so much I’m making it a career choice. Remembering that feeling reminds me why it feels SO good to feel how I do now. Remembering that feeling reminds me why I’m so passionate about helping other make that same feeling a motivator for change.
Although we should never live in the past it is good to reflect on what you’ve achieved over the years, mainly so that you can sit back and go ‘yes I did that and ooh I did that’. But be sure to make them all positive things to recall. Picking on the positives will help bolster your positivity in the now and make you more determined to achieve the next goal…. if you’ve done it before you can do it again, type thinking.
Six years ago today I gave up smoking. Six years ago today I decided enough was enough it was time to change my life. Six years ago today I decided I was worth the effort after all. (You can read My Fat Story here).
Since then I’ve lost almost six stones (82lbs) in weight; I’m currently at 12 stone 3lbs (79lbs lost). I’m so very proud of that fact. I’m a different person to the Krissie back then. I can give you all the excuses under the sun as to how I ended up almost 18 stone in weight, but excuses are all they are. I drank too much alcohol and sugary drinks, ate all the wrong foods in excess and hardly moved my body except to get to the fridge/oven/car/bar/pizza place. I was lazy, end of. Although studying full time didn’t help it wasn’t an excuse to be lazy. That’s the crux of the matter, I was lazy as a lazy thing on a lazy day. And though we went through the heartbreak of losing my beloved Grampa to leukaemia and watched my Father in Law’s health deteriorate due to his diabetes, I still sat on my lardy arse doing nothing. And if anything they should have been HUGE motivators.
I can admit all this now because this journey takes a lot of soul searching when you have that much weight to lose. Something valuable I’ve discovered is that lifestyle change begins with the mind. This is something I learned from the ever lovely Steve Miller. You can do all the diets you want but the lifestyle change doesn’t happen until you programme the mind. And that either takes hypnosis or a long time to change your habits. I took the long option because I didn’t know these things were available to me, hypnosis to lose weight, really? Yes really. Why not? We use it to give up smoking, biting our nails, why not use it to remove the blockade we’ve set up surrounding our fragile self image to allow us to progress on to being the best we can be?
Another valuable thing I’ve learned, and this one I learned only this year, stop comparing yourself to other people. Even identical twins are unique; the shape of the eyes are slightly different, or one’s a little taller than the other… you get the idea. This one came courtesy of the fabulous Chalene Johnson. Why compare yourself with others? What are you ever going to achieve? And that was a major flaw in my approach to many things. So and so has done XYZ, but hang on I’ve been doing that so why are they getting all the plaudits and success?? Why because they weren’t concerning themselves with what others were doing, they weren’t comparing themselves to others. And that’s something I was doing in abundance, hiding in my little office in the house and looking with envy at others succeeding where I was plateauing. Silly isn’t it? You can be this positive motivator and still have days where you go ‘urgh’. It happens to us all. Even Steve and Chalene I bet.
So looking back on the last six years, what have I achieved? These are in no particular order, just as they come to me while writing them down:
- I gave up smoking
- I started a fitness regime
- I rediscovered what foods my body really needs to function
- I came to like sprouts (who’d a thunk?)
- I gained my Masters in literature
- I got a promotion in my job (even thought here are days I wonder if it’s been worth it)
- I met some of the most amazing people I have ever known
- I have (along with the guys in the band) written and recorded not 1 but 2 albums and an EP
- I performed at a number of heavy metal festivals and gigged up and down the country countless times
- I strengthened my marriage with the most wonderful man I know.
- I bought a brand new car (only a little one but still brand new off the production line)
- I set up my blog
- I realised what my long term career will be
- I returned to Greece for a holiday with my best friend and hubby.
- I qualified as a fitness instructor.
- I lost almost 6 stone in weight
There are more but I would end up making this post HUGE if I carried on. Those are the biggest ones on the list.
Now I embark on a new chapter. I have 21lbs left to lose. Alas this is the hardest part. You see most people think the more you weigh the easier it is to lose, and initially that is true. If you weight 300lbs it’s easy to drop 5-10lbs a week when you first start your new lifestyle regime. But as you lose more your body adapts. And you switch things up to get your body back into fat burning mode and after a few months it adapts again and you plateau. So you switch it up again and by the fifth or sixth time you do that your body has sussed you out. So if you only had say 14lbs to lose, you start by changing your diet cutting down your simple carbs and sugary processed foods and in the first week you lose 5lbs. You now only have 9lbs to lose and at half a pound/a pound a week on average (as your body will naturally slow to that) it takes you 9 – 18 weeks. Now translate that to the person with 50lbs to lose, they may drop 8lbs in that first week, then 4lbs, then 2lbs and then it slows to the half/pound loss a week. It’s now going to take them around 36-72 weeks to shift the remainder. So losing weight is relative. So I’m looking at 20 – 40 weeks to lose the rest of this weight, that’s even with shaking up the gym routine and trying new things. It would be nice if it came off quicker but I’m in no rush. I’m comfortable where I am at the moment, not happy per-say but not unhappy either. I’ve done well, and I’m fiercely proud of that fact. But there is always room for improvement 😉
Six years, and I believe I have finally I’ve cracked my mindset. Pandora is very quiet of late, I think she may have finally admitted defeat.
I’d like to say a massive thank you to all of you who read my blog. The journey is far from over, and in many ways it’s still just beginning. I hope you’ll all stick along for the ride, and thank you for reading my random ramblings. I can’t wait to share the next chapter with you.
Here’s to the next six years, and continuing to be the best you, and me, that we can be.
Be kind to yourself, always, you rock and then some.