I’ve become enamoured with the idea that we should all embrace doing something that scares the bejesus out of us.
One of those scary things, for me, is showing my far from perfect body in public in less than a t-shirt and jeans. So to do something that involves having as much bare skin available as possible, in public….well *bites nails*! I’m not talking naked, oh no but shorts and cropped top and I’m talking shorts as in Daisy Duke’s for those that can remember the Dukes of Hazard. So after a very strenuous and fun pole dancing class last night, I have decided to bite the bullet and do my first solo performance in May.
I’m not very good at this stage, I hasten to add, as I’m still learning the basics, I’ve only been doing proper classes for 10 weeks so far. The spins I am fairly competent with, my climb is getting stronger and I can now sit on the pole with just my legs keeping me from sliding into an ungraceful heap at the foot of the stage (yes I did shout ‘Look Ma, no hands’ when I finally let go of the pole and just used my legs to maintain grip). However, I have yet to master some of the extensions and I haven’t even begun on the inversions. I have 8 weeks before the performance. I should also perhaps stop shouting ‘weeeeeeeeeeeee’ as I fall into the Kamikazi spin 😀
The routine will be done only in front of my class mates, other students at my dance school and our family and friends.
And it is for charity. But to say I’m a little apprehensive is an understatement. I know I will only be doing spins and tricks that I am capable of doing at this stage, but me being me I want to be hanging up side down by only my toes or something ridiculous like that. I’ve always wanted to run before I could walk, and that shows no sign of changing as I get older. So the old adage of older and wiser ummmm no doesn’t exist apparently! I have fallen utterly in love with pole dancing. It’s something I’ve always wanted to try. I’ve never really viewed myself as a sexy person, or a graceful dancer – think more elephant from Fantasia – so to do something that can utilise the strength I do have, build on it, increase my flexibility and be a honest to goodness work out, oh and may just happen to give the illusion of being slightly sexier than a hephalump, then I’m game for it. I’m so in love with it I’ve bought my own pole. Hurrah!
Armed with Thunder’s ‘I Love You More Than Rock’n’Roll’ (and with a list of 5 other rock and metal tracks that I want to start choreographing routines too), you can say that the bug really has bitten hard. Now I just need to buy some knee pads for rehearsing so I can stop the perpetual bruising on my left knee.
But what about the new target? Well it’s just under nine weeks until the performance and I have 18lbs left to lose to get to my goal weight of 150lbs. There is absolutely no reason why I cannot lose at least 8lbs of that before the performance if not a little more. I’ve set my target to 10lbs loss. I’m aiming to be 158 – 160lbs by the time I perform. And this is the start of the final push. The end goal is in sight and I’m more determined than ever to get to it. Everytime I get on the treadmill or lift that weight I see her, the me I know I’m meant to be, smiling at that goal line (still with Platinum discs for music and Personal Trainer of the Year award in hand). It’s a powerful image. If I lose that 10lbs by the performance then I’m in last half a stone terriroty…. I’m almost there. I’m so damned close. Hovering in the 75-80lb loss mark as I had for the best part of 3 months, the motivation although still there was nowhere near as strong. It was almost a ‘well, if it’s going to come off it will come off when it’s ready’ sort of attitude. Now I’ve broke out of that limbo and the weight has started to decrease again I’m looking at it with a renewed determination and I’ve taken back the control on that attitude. It’s no longer a case of thinking it’ll come off when it’s ready, it’s more of an it’s coming off period, attitude.
Pole dancing hasn’t just helped in the ‘get stronger’ stakes, it’s given me a new found confidence with my own body. I have stretch marks and scars from weight gain, both visable and in the old noggin’ but they are my scars, I own them and I am proud of them as they have helped me become the person I am now. They are war wounds from many battles and the war is over, I’ve won! I’m healthier than I have ever been. I am happier than I have ever been and I am so passionate about this new found way of being that I want to help everyone reap the benefits of lifestyle change for the better And if I can do that and have fun swinging from a 50mm thick pole in high heels screaming ‘weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ as I spin….. well why the bloody hell not eh? I’ll let you know how it goes and if it’s good, I may even post a video….possibly. 😉